PonderEthereal

This is the best damn thing since the chair. If you aren’t in the know, I have Asperger Syndrome along with a Sensory Integration Disorder. About a week ago, I learned that Emma, who also has AS and an SED got this neat thing at school called a DiscO Sit. So I bought myself the adult version.

Here is what it looks like.

It’s supposed to help us fidgety types who have trouble sitting still in one place and focusing something non-distracting to do while we are sitting. Rocking is probably the only ’stim’ I have.. that I know of. So I bought it and it arrived a few days later for the hefty price of 45.00 including shipping. Gah. BUT. I inflated it and started using it at home and it’s ADDICTIVE. Being able to rock in my chair make me more able to focus. Emma came home and said ‘Hey..…

Journalcon Swag is officially in progress in the Ethereal Household. The swag elves (read: me) have stuffed 50 cellophane bags with part of the swag, punched holes, cut ribbons and oohd and ahed over how nice they are turning out. One big surprise left to add to the bags. A little birdy told me it involves a contest. The birdy actually said TWEET.. tweettweettweetTWEET… TWEETTWEET.. but that’s what he meant.

I’m startin’ ta get excited up in’is junt. Yo.

Green and Brown to me. Earthy and moist or hard and dry. It’s where I plant my feet in the morning. As much as I trust the inner workings of the earth to be reliable and stable and to support the outter workings of my life, I really dislike any part of earth escaping outside the boundaries that I set for earth. My windows and doors. My flower pots.

Earth is the symbol of the physical. It revolves .. always, always. Just like time which will always always move forward - time is a restriction of the physical. A trait of the physical. Something that exists soley because in the physical it is impossible for mass to occupy the same space at the same time as other mass. Either one mass is there or it isnt. And thus we have the division of time. I think. And so earth represents…

I talked to Bob the other day and asked him what time Emma’s appointment was. He blew up at me.

Him : “That is so fucking annoying. You ask me that EVERY time and I tell you EVERY time. It’s annoying that you do that.”
Me : “But I don’t even remember that I’ve asked you that before. You see me asking you a million times and I don’t even realize I’ve asked. I ask, use the information and I don’t store it.”
Him : “I don’t want to tell you every time you ask. I’m sick of telling you. You remember the stuff you want to remember - so remember this.”

(me thinking madly to myself ‘one more thing to remember? What the hell am I going to do? I have to remember that? How the hell am I going to do that?!)

(me comparing the absolute impossibility of this task to the surface simplicity of his…

I’m still a growing, learning Feri in training. But I’m officially an ADVANCED growing, learning Feri in training. :) Our teacher has divided the learning material up into basic, intermediate, advanced - and I believe all of the remaining classmates made it to advanced. So last week, we opened up the advanced material and did the first exercise.

WHEW! Thank gods he pounded the correspondences into our collective heads. :) Yes, it was tedious. Yes, it got boring and overwhelming sometimes but when everything clicked so easily together during the exercise this week, it made it so obvious WHY we did things the way we did them. It all came with an ease that only could have been borne of repetition.

I really enjoyed the exercise. It feels like we are getting into the meat of things now. I’m excited about what is ahead in this masochistic sort of way. Yeah.. I…

Asperger’s Syndrome became a diagnosis in 1995. Although lots of kids have benefited from a ready diagnosis, people like me who were born well before 1995 and who have Asperger’s Syndrome were adults by the time we were diagnosed. That doesn’t mean my symptoms are any less drastic. It just means I had to learn to live around them.

So now that I’m trying to find products to make my life easier, although there are tons of outlets out there for kids, I’m finding there is very little out there for adults. I don’t go to a school where there is a special ed department who is aware of my differences and is ready to cater to my needs with specialized equipment that they know of through their special training. I work. In an office.

I bought a DiscOSpin last night. It’s an inflatable disc that goes in a chair…

As much as I realize that I am a work in progress and as tolerant as I am now of my differences and as aware I am of where I’m not like others, it’s still a rude awakening somehow when in a situation, I realize how very different I am from others.

I was in a meeting today with two people who I really admire and I really want to be on friendly terms with and as we were talking, jokes were made and we would laugh - but several times, I so said the WRONG thing. Not bad wrong - as in ‘Your hair looks horrible’ - but the joke was funny to me for a different reason than it was funny to them.. so I would say something and the laughter would just peter off. And int he moment, we were so wrapped up in business that it…

I’m getting a barrage of 500 errors on my live site again. I apologize for the pain of it if you’re getting them too. I’ll be moving this site to another host next month.

I’ve forgotten to breathe lately. A million inhales and exhales in the last two weeks and I’ve forgotten to breathe. I’m waiting, spinning, reaching.. but not breathing. It’s funny how something that seems so basic can just be forgotten.

Not breathing in my lips and my throat and my lungs.. but breathing in my life. Thinking about my breath and moving back. And theinking about my situations.. but moving further back and thinking about myself in those situations. There is no give and take. No release and acceptance. No breath.

Breath. Don’t forget to breathe Carrie. Rleease, Accept and allow to flow. Breathe. Things at work.. tension, bugs, politics, power.. breathe. Breathe until air and power and energy flows freely again through it all. Breathe. Life, relationships, anger, intensity, hurt, resentment, irritation, optimism, anxiety. Breathe, breathe, breath. Inhale and accept.. exhale and release. Breathe, Carrie. Breathe. Breathe until life flows…

The locations of 3 sub blogs have changed. If you have linked to one of these blogs, please update your links!

Ponderethereal A La Aspie
new url : http://www.ponderethereal.com/asperger

Beyond the Surface
new url : http://ponderethereal.com/spiritblog

Ponderethereal Reviews
new url : http://www.ponderethereal.com/reviews

The old links will redirect to the new locations.